My Self From Days in Future Past

May 31, 2009

I sat with myself the other day, myself that has come and has gone on her way. We sat on some nicely formed rocks on the beaches of a tranquil scene. The sun setting with vivid colors of pink, orange and yellow, dropping into the far off sea, it seemed. With the sounds of the crashing waves, I felt blessed with nature’s beauty; peace to the mind and strength to the heart, nature gave this to me.

I wondered why she appeared today. I haven’t seen her in years. As I sat there breathing deeply, feeling the energy of life, she silently came and sat next to me. She did not speak, just looked out to sea. I could feel her reach for my hand, just to give it a light squeeze. With a smile on her face she squeezed my hand ever so lightly. “Hello.” I said to me. 

“Hello” she replied. “I have been waiting for you, it has been many years since we’ve conversed. I’m glad you have looked me up. So, now you wonder once again, is this life all there is? Are you meant to live alone?” 

“Yes” I replied. 

“Oh my dear child of me, do not fret so. You may not see it now nor feel it in your soul, but you are not and have not ever been alone.” 

“I have found you once, such a long time ago,” I said, “but once you helped me, I walked away, why would you come back now?” 

“Dear sweet me of yesterday, do not fear tomorrow. I have been there already and it is not full of sorrow. You will have some time of questions, but soon they will be clear, the answer to all your fears, are all within you dear.” 

“My life is but a sham, I know what I want to be, but feel so tired and bound to this place. Oh how I hate my choices of men, they seem to cause me such disgrace. I think I am careful in choosing, only to find I chose yet another lie. I almost feel as though, a man is not right for my side.” 

“Do not worry of such things child, in time all will be revealed. Just know that you are not alone and have nothing to fear. Do not act in haste, do not be impatient, the time is soon here my friend and you will find your grace.” 

She stood then and placed her hand upon my shoulder this time. With a twinkle in her eye, a smile of charm and wonder, she pats my shoulder softly once and disappeared into the breeze. The sound of a wave rolling in and a sea gull in the dusk, my self from days in future past, left me here to ponder.